Reframing “Difficult Conversations”: Turning Challenges into Performance Opportunities
One of the most common requests we get is: How do we have difficult conversations?
It’s a valid concern. Conversations about performance, especially those that involve challenges or underperformance, can feel uncomfortable. But here’s the first and most important piece of advice: stop calling them difficult.
The moment a conversation is labelled “difficult,” it’s already carrying extra weight. Instead, think of these discussions as performance conversations—a regular and essential part of leading any team.
Making Performance Conversations Routine
Performance conversations aren’t just for when things go wrong. They should happen regularly with everyone on the team, whether they’re excelling, meeting expectations, or falling short.
Why? Because consistent conversations create opportunities to:
- Spot areas where improvements can be made
- Reinforce great behaviours and celebrate wins
- Stretch and challenge those who are already performing well
When leaders make these discussions part of their routine, they become less intimidating and more productive—for both the leader and the team member.
Who’s Responsible for What?
At the heart of any performance conversation is a shared understanding of responsibility. Both leaders and their teams have a role to play:
- Leaders are responsible for setting clear expectations, providing the necessary support, and offering honest, constructive feedback.
- Individuals are responsible for understanding those expectations and delivering on them—or seeking help when needed.
When everyone knows where responsibility lies, these conversations become less about blame and more about collaboration.
Clarity is Everything
Clear expectations are the foundation of every performance conversation. It’s the leader’s job to make sure every team member understands exactly what success looks like in their role.
Here’s how a conversation rooted in clarity might go:
- State the expectation: What’s required? What does success look like? What help or support is needed to deliver? Who’s responsible for what?
- Assess performance: Where is the individual in relation to that expectation? Are they above, at, or below the mark?
- Explore solutions or opportunities: If they’re below expectations, what steps can they take to improve? If they’re excelling, how can they stretch further?
This approach keeps the conversation focused, constructive, and solution-driven.
Shifting the Culture Around Feedback
The more these conversations happen, the easier they become. Renaming them “performance conversations” doesn’t mean they’ll be simple overnight, but it shifts the mindset. Instead of focusing on conflict, the focus is on growth, learning, and mutual success.
For organisations looking to improve in this area, support and training can make a huge difference. With the right approach, leaders can create a culture where performance conversations are seen as opportunities—not obstacles.
What steps is your organisation taking to make performance conversations part of everyday leadership?
Let’s start the conversation!
